Business Articles
Emotional Intelligence
Developing Your EQ - Summary and Suggestions
- Use three word sentences beginning with "I feel"
- Start labelling feelings; stop labelling people & situations
- Analyse your own feelings rather than the action or motives of other people
- Ask others how they feel -- on scale of 0-10
- Make time to reflect on your feelings
- Identify your fears and desires
- Identify your UEN's (Unmet Emotional Needs)
- Take responsibility for your emotions & happiness; Stop believing others cause your feelings; don’t expect others to "make" you happy
- Express your feelings - find out who cares - spend time with them
- Develop the courage to follow your own feelings
On Decision Making:
- Ask: how will I feel if I do... if I don't
- Ask: how do you feel & what would help you feel better (that is in your control)?
- Your "negative" feelings are expressions of your unmet emotional needs (UEN's)
- Each negative feeling has a positive value
- Awareness of your feelings is the key to self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is the key to self-improvement.
- All actions are motivated by feelings. Emotions put us in motion. We can always choose how we respond to an emotion. We are always in control. Feeling in control is empowering. Taking responsibility for our happiness is empowering.
On Managing Your Negative Feelings
- Ask: why does it bother me? What are my beliefs? Are some of my beliefs dysfunctional to me? What are my needs?
- How can I meet them by myself?
On Relationships:
- Happiness is not something you get out of a relationship, but something you bring into one.
- Express your feelings. (must know them)
- See who cares - allocate your time accordingly
- Remember seek volunteers, not hostages
- Base Relationships on mutual respect of feelings
- Avoid toxic people (invalidating, defensive, disrespecting, insecure, negative)
Some "Feeling Words"
accepted, rejected, abandoned, left out, criticised, lectured to, preached to, judged, discriminated against, mocked, appreciated, unappreciated, supported, unsupported, uncomfortable, optimistic, pessimistic, hopeless, discouraged, encouraged, afraid, respected, disrespected, motivated, unmotivated, free, controlled, obligated, burdened, needy, in control, out of control, validated, invalidated, competent, incompetent, jealous, sad, lonely, ignored, important, unimportant, proud, confident, worthy, deserving, unworthy, undeserving, excited, fulfilled, rewarded
